I've been obsessed with psychometric tools for years, long before Mihir and I ever compared notes on either of ours. I use them with the nuja team. I've used Kolbe on myself to explain things about my own brain that used to just feel like personal failings.

Here's one: I am a 7 on Fact Finder and a 7 on Quick Start. That basically means that I need every fact before I commit to anything and I want to have started ten minutes ago. Both, permanently, at full volume which is either a fascinating contradiction or extremely on brand for a Gemini, depending who you ask 🙃 .

Mihir did his Kolbe over two years ago, for work, nothing to do with us. He's a 9 on Quick Start to my 7, which means when one of us gets excited about something, we are both fully in, speeding ahead before either of us has thought it through. This is, unfortunately, also the entire explanation for why our house currently contains the beginnings of at least three hobbies, one abandoned home gym and a business idea that got a web domain booked and nothing else. Neither of us has a natural Follow Thru instinct. Mine's a 4. His is a 2. So there is, mathematically, no adult in this relationship whose job it is to finish things. Fun, I know.

I did PRINT more recently, which maps something different - how we each actually process emotion under pressure or what our subconscious motivators are. My score runs cooler than his which means there have been real moments over fourteen years where I wanted to sit with something quietly and he wanted to talk it through immediately. Neither of us was wrong; we were just running different software.

Here's what I actually want to say about this in the memo because I don't want it filed under ‘relationship advice’. This was never a post about two opposites making it work. We're not opposites. We're annoyingly similar which is exactly why we start so much together and finish so little of it. The tools didn't explain why we're compatible despite our differences. They explained why two very alike, slightly chaotic people function the way they do, which turned out to be more useful than any generic advice about communication styles or personality types ever was.

I've started using these tools with a couple of people on my team too - not to diagnose anyone, just to stop conversations from turning into "you always" and "you never," to “now I get why this is a struggle for you”. I know it sounds simple but I swear by it and crucial nuja hires always have a couple of interviews AND a Kolbe to complete in the recruitment process.

My point at the end really is that none of this is relationship or business advice. It's just proof that the right tools work, on my team, and on the two of us. And you can’t get me to stop believing.

M.

A small thing I loved this week: no structure or theme, just sharing some favourites.

Read: This one is a little different because these are book unrecommendations! Over the last couple of weeks, two books have been so painful to read that I had to quit (which I rarelyyyy do) both of them about a quarter of the way through. Mind you - I know I was looking for easy, entertaining reads, not groundbreaking literature. Neither Going Green nor Rejection could make me commit. And before you say it - this is not me blaming my poor Follow Thru score. I have finished 18 books so far this year 🙂

xx

Manuja

Not for everyone. Never was.