When your lunch accidentally validates your entire branding rant.
This is going to sound picky about burgers. It’s not.
It’s a branding lesson, I promise.
Somewhere along the way, a bunch of plant-based brands decided the goal was this: “Make it taste so much like meat that no one can tell the difference.”
And honestly? That’s where it all went sideways. Not because the idea is wrong, but the audience is.
If you’re a vegetarian (like me), you don’t want beef-flavoured theatre. You didn’t stop eating meat, or never ate it in the first place, just to end up with a better impersonation of it.
I don’t want an Impossible burger. I want a good burger. Beans. Veggies. Texture. Something that tastes like it knows what it is.
Instead, every menu hands me the same ultra-processed fake beef situation and calls it a win. As if faux equals value. And here’s the part that really makes me twitch.
You’re talking to the wrong people!
Vegetarians are already fine. We’re not standing around begging for a meat substitute that fools our friends. We’re happy eating food that tastes like food we know. The people you should be obsessing over are meat eaters. They’re the ones who need reassurance.
They’re the ones worried about taste, satisfaction, and “giving something up.” And before anyone panics about “vegan food being processed food” — please. PLEASE.
Have you seen what goes into a standard fast-food beef burger? Let’s not pretend there’s moral high ground there.
So here’s the lesson: this whole thing is a positioning problem, not a product problem.
A solid mission.
Decent products.
Completely muddled audience logic.
It reminds me of zero-alcohol beer done right. It’s not marketed to people who already don’t drink. It’s for people who do — but want an alternative sometimes.
That’s the difference between insight and assumption. And this — this exact disconnect — is why I love brand strategy.
Because when you get the who wrong, you can pour money into innovation forever and still miss the point.
Anyway. That’s today’s unsolicited opinion from someone who just wanted a decent veggie burger and got a branding lesson instead.
M.
PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly rants, ask your fellow smarties to subscribe using the link below :)
PPS: Open to (and desperate for) any goooooood veggie burger recommendations in Dubai!
xx
Manuja
Not for everyone. Never was.
